The power of community events (and women!)

Go to the Event. You'll Be Glad You Did.

You've signed up for an event. It sounded like a great idea two weeks ago. Now it's 5pm, you're still at your desk and suddenly staying home sounds considerably more appealing. Snuggly pyjamas, a good Netflix show and a glass of wine.

Who am I going to know? What am I going to wear? What if everyone comes with someone? What if I walk in and everyone is already talking? What if I end up standing alone pretending to reply to an incredibly important WhatsApp?

Maybe I'll go to the next one. I know this feeling. I’ve lived this feeling. I think a lot of women do.

And yet, some of the best conversations, friendships, opportunities and ideas in my life have started because I made myself go to the thing.

The hardest part is often walking in

There is something uniquely uncomfortable about arriving at an event alone.

You open the door and, naturally, it appears that every other person in the room has known each other since birth. They haven't.

Half of them are probably doing exactly what you're doing: holding a drink for emotional support and hoping someone friendly talks to them. We massively overestimate how confident everyone else feels. The woman standing across the room who looks completely at ease might have spent the Uber there debating whether to turn around.

That's the funny thing about community. You don't really find it by waiting until you feel confident enough to enter the room.

Sometimes you have to enter the room first.

You don't need to “work the room”

Networking has terrible PR.

Even the phrase makes me picture name badges, business cards and someone looking over your shoulder halfway through a conversation to see if there's somebody more important nearby.

No thank you. You don't need to meet everyone. Meet one person.

Ask why they came. Ask what they're working on. Tell them you don't know anyone either. Compliment their shoes. Ask if they've been to one of these before.

Have an actual conversation.

If you leave an event having genuinely connected with two people, I'd take that over collecting 25 LinkedIn connections you'll never speak to again.

The right room can change things

This is why I believe so much in getting people together in real life.

Online, we can follow hundreds of people without ever really knowing them. We like their posts, watch their Stories, subscribe to their newsletters and vaguely feel as though we're part of their world.

Then you meet them.

A ten-minute conversation can create more connection than six months of mutually liking each other's content. And sometimes one introduction is all it takes.

You meet someone who becomes a client. A collaborator. A friend. Someone who recommends you three months later. Someone who introduces you to someone else. Someone who simply says something you really needed to hear that week.

You can't always predict the ROI of a room. That's part of the magic!

Women need rooms where we can find each other

There's something particularly powerful about women creating spaces for other women to connect.

Not necessarily another panel about “women in business”. Please. We contain multitudes.

I mean rooms where women can talk honestly about work, ambition, money, relationships, creativity, motherhood, starting again, building something, changing direction or simply figuring out what comes next. The best communities aren't built because everybody has the same job title.

They're built because people recognise something in each other. And often, those connections become something much bigger than whatever was written on the event agenda.

Community isn't the number of people in the room

I've worked in events for a long time, and I think we've developed a slightly strange relationship with scale.

An Instagram post reaches 30,000 people and we're thrilled. An event has 30 people and we worry it's small. But 30 people chose to leave their homes, travel somewhere and spend several hours together. That's a completely different level of attention.

And you can see the impact happening.

It's the conversation that carries on after the panel. The two women swapping numbers in the corner. The person who arrived alone now laughing with someone they've just met. The women who are now meeting for lunch a week later.

It's everyone still standing around talking when the event was supposed to finish 40 minutes ago.

That's usually when you know you've created something good.

The best events make it easier to belong

Event organisers have a responsibility here too. If you're creating a community, don't just open the doors and hope everyone figures it out.

Notice the woman standing alone. Make introductions. Don't overschedule every minute.

Create formats that encourage actual conversation. Think about the person who has arrived knowing nobody, not just the person who already knows half the room.

A good host doesn't simply hold a microphone. They connect people. Because an audience knows who you are. A community starts to know each other.

Go anyway

There will always be reasons not to go.

You're tired. You don't know anyone. Work has been manic. Your social battery is questionable. Your sofa is calling and you've already taken your bra off.

Honestly, at that point, I accept the odds aren't looking good. But every now and then, go anyway.

You don't have to become the loudest person in the room. You don't need to leave with ten business cards and a new business partner. You don't need to “network”.

• Just show up.

• Talk to someone.

• Be curious.

• Stay for one drink.

Because sometimes the event you nearly talked yourself out of attending introduces you to a person, an idea or an opportunity you couldn't have found sitting at home. And sometimes nothing life-changing happens at all.

You simply walk out thinking: I'm really glad I went.

That's reason enough.

Olivia x